The One Night Mistake

I used to run around telling people I got pregnant on a one night stand which is far from the truth. I got pregnant by someone I considered my best friend. I walked away to respect ; not because it was a one night stand. I sometimes regret not staying. I sometime regret not hurting the other women in life to have the perfect family. Society made me feel that way. However, society didn’t tell me the truth. The truth is in the bible. God still has the final say to write the final ending. The night I got pregnant was no mistake. It was what empowered me in the end when I had to take the criticism, the rejection, the heartache, and the betrayal to make sure to give my child better than what the world used to throw at me. I always loved my sons father wholeheartely. I don’t think that a day ever went by I didn’t hope that he was happy. We just didn’t work out because we were too young to understand the challenges we were about to face. We had to make a better life from the past lives we had before us and we did that.

In my younger days I used to have social media everywhere. I used to have over thousands of followers. I used to literally know everyone in my city. As I matured I realized that people who live that way set themselves up to attract bad people with no morals. I deleted all my accounts and started over. Now I only add family and close friends. I feel like my friends are actually true, genuine, and sincere, and I have no issues with people leaving who don’t want to grow with what they bring to the table. Unless you are a celebrity of some form or trying to sell something… you’re often setting yourself up to be distracted in other peoples dreams, goals, and ambitions, instead of your own.

I also feel like those type of people are not people I intend to follow anywhere in life because they lead me to nowhere but failure. When I cut off social media. I cut off distractions. I cut off all the people who sold themselves out just to look like success that really weren’t. I stopped following them and actually started thriving at my own goals. It’s just toxic for everything from your family life, to your work life, to your love life, and sometimes I feel like that’s the part my sons dad and I got wrong. I looked around me at all the people who thrived in life and they were the people who valued the ones at home.. not what was out there in the world. In life we have to earn our way through it but if we get caught up in the attention of everyone else. We will lose the respect we need to earn to find it. Over time people just start creating us into who we aren’t instead of respecting us for who we are. Now I just keep my circle… family and close friends!

I would of missed so many valuable friends had I not done this…. the ones who really support us to the best version of ourselves and don’t help us go backwards. These people matter.

I also don’t mind when people who are artists, in the entertainment industry and that’s their profession need to brand themselves on social media. Usually however they keep it at the brand. I fully support that. I just wish people taught us all these things beforehand. I see so many people who are broken trying to fit in instead of trying to find their purpose. Peace truly matters more than pride. Picking our battles wisely truly matters more than winning. Sincerity matters more than competing. Just because I see things I don’t like doesn’t necessarily mean I”ll argue about it. I’ll just not involve myself in it.

and in my 33 years of life because I turned 33 yesterday those were some lessons I learned a long the way. Try to forgive people who hurt you, not for them necessarily but for you otherwise you hold unto it and become too broken to find yourself in god. Some of them will have to be in your life in the future again…. but it will never work until you can forgive them for who they couldn’t be… nobody is perfect.

A lot of times they are also hurting. They also have scars. If you have to compete to have someone. If you have to hurt somebody to have something. None of that ish is worth having. Find your peace within yourself. Eventually the right decisions will come to you when you hear only god and not others opinions. A lot of times friends are the ones who are really the enemies. They want us around them for what they want… not necessarily for what’s right. In the end our friends don’t live with our choices in life. We do.

and it’s not about winning… it’s about being honest with our true self… anybody can play a part and look a part and pretend to be somebody they’re not on social media for attention even in love people pretend well. It’s about who we truly are at the depth of our core. When the mask falls off, when the people are gone, when the success isn’t there, when it’s just us with our prayers… what are our prayers then? That’s where the answers to our future are…because that’s the results that will bring us peace. Lots of people in life lie to get respect… but we all need to be honest with that person… in the long run that is the most commendable person!

and you all may think your failing in life because your not those people… but the truth is… your the ones winning…. are you trying to win today and then fail tomorrow? Or are you trying to stay the course and live a fulfilling life? Those people they’re not winning… they traded in their morals to get respect from people who will never respect them. Now they have trust issues because even in marriage they settled… they didn’t choose somebody to help them grow into a better person not just on the outside but morally where it actually matters. If you call that success…that’s how you end up divorced. Then you gotta start over square one at like 50… that’s rough.. I would rather be me any day than that, and I need to remind you all that being your true self is always enough as long as you’re not hurting others or yourself. There’s nothing wrong with finding all the things that success are.. but there’s something wrong when you gotta lose your morals to have it.. and you gotta hurt people to keep it. I would rather break my own heart.. and take the criticism if it means I become a better person… god has a perfect timing.. and we gotta trust that timing. There is no need to win today if we don’t have peace in what were winning. There’s also nothing wrong with the fact someone didn’t have guidance and chose what they did because of that.. but there’s something wrong when they don’t realize that and become remorseful. Pride is why most people fail… most people never win at life even when they look like they do. Most people have stuff they refuse to share. Theres nothing wrong with failing… theres something wrong with not admitting that were human. Were all human and the more we can meet people at human being.. the better our world will be. Everyone is imperfect… but everyone can also have empathy and respect… and dignity… not just for ourselves but also for others… easier said than done for most people.

One of the verses that really stands out to me in the bible.. is to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. I have sat in church so many times and prayer meetings and I have not liked it. I considered it self-righteousness and a place of gossip more than a place of worship. We don’t pray to prey on others sins… we go to church thankful we have god… and to repent of ourselves.. to forgive ourselves… because were so busy looking in a mirror we don’t have time to look at somebody else… and when we do that we get rid of the ego.. we throw away the pride.. and we say god i don’t deserve you.. so why did you choose me? The day I had my son… to you all might of been something you judge me for… but to me… it something that changed me. I never felt so close to god in my life.. so humbled down to humility… so god I need you now…

One of my favourite songs is PLUMB – Beautifully Broken!!

and when we can look at that… and thank god every day just for the simple things… find the gratitude.. the blessings in front of us we fail to see… that cleanses us.. that changes our heart… that makes us pure again… because gods not looking at the past… hes looking at do you trust me now?.. so if gods not looking at our past.. and he’s giving us a chance.. why are we looking at others past? The truth is we look at it because we don’t want to look at ourselves. The truth is we tell others not look at our pasts because we know it’s ugly… and god forbid we lose to somebody better than us. That’s jealousy and hatred and it looks like charm. We gotta be humble and be like okay… I am okay with taking an L… because I trust you God to write a better ending. When I had my son that’s something I had to realize.. and he was that better ending… my children are my rewards… they bring me gratitude.. and I love them with my whole heart. I tell them every day like I love you guys.. because when they grow up one day and go into the world.. they’re not gonna look back on how their parents failed… they’re gonna look back on how their parents showed up. Children are resilient and they have a way of finding forgiveness. It’s parents who are caught up in their own past hurt.

so let go and let God! You may not see what tomorrow holds.. situations may look like the point of no return.. but are you GOD? You know through man everythings impossible… and we run to men.. well everything starts to look impossible because humans are flawed and nobodys ever looking at the whole picture. God sees the whole picture… god sees whats underneath everyones mask… and everything that seemed impossible because we followed men.. well once we turn around and follow god.. god has a way of creating testimonies… and everything becomes possible especially if we put god first in everything. Were never gonna get it 100 were all just human… but distractions aren’t people that tell us the truth when it hurts.. distractions are people that bribe us to use us for what they want… because we like to hear that more than the truth.. the truth hurts.. but the truth is what brings us to peace and peace is the key to everything in life. Keep people around you that hurt your pride.. because when all those fake friends are gone… your gonna hear their voice the loudest… your gonna hear the one you thought was the enemy the loudest and weirdly enough that’s the one that ends up being the most genuine.. people who realize this they go far in life… because they listen to god. Your pastors are just human too.. they have more flaws than you’ll ever know… but you know a lot of people got pride.. they’re so afraid to fail instead of faith in a higher power. I truly believe in my faith… and that all situations can be resolved gods way. So revenge has never been my way… let go and let god in his timing he will show us how things were supposed to be.. his way.

I don’t regret having my son. I don’t regret his father either. It was the heartache I needed to go through to change me.

Irene Mielke

Irene H. Mielke (born May 21) is a writer (ie. content writer, blogger, poet, song writer, ghost writer, soon-to-be-author). She can write just about anything. Her first poem was published in the local Ottawa newspaper at the age of 12. She has had her article featured in a Toronto magazine a few years ago. She has also won top articles for her writing pieces twice. Irene is Canadian. Her roots are of mixed heritages. Irene’s origin consists of German and Indigenous descent. Irene struggled in her teenage years and as a result became a high school drop out. Those were some difficult times. She couch surfed, lived with roommates, and so on. She sometimes slept outside while trying to go to school. It was these experiences that humbled her early in life. She eventually graduated high-school with top grades and went on to pursue higher goals. She loves to read and support others in becoming the best version of themselves. She also loves to go the gym and her favourite sport is soccer.