In my early days of dating. I didn’t really look for a specific man. I looked for attention over respect. I’d go on a coffee date with anyone. I felt I was open-minded ; rather than shallow. To me it was friendship. It was innocent. It was pure. I was just being genuine. I’m friendly, and polite. Now as I’ve matured from those days ; I’m not really into dating unless a man meets my requirements.
Sadly, most men do not get married based on love and do not marry the one they love. Infidelity is common enough in marriages. Most people settle. Most people bluff. People want a lifestyle, and will compromise for it to share bills. I do not believe just because a marriage is in place that a commitment has been established, and that is most peoples mistakes. They run with the wind without reading the contract they’re signing. Image oriented society. That is the road I was almost headed down, thankfully I was able to see the red-flags ahead of time.
I think it’s better to wait, and most so called married people now will finally end up divorced when their children grow up because…
A. They’re in it for the image
B. They’re lonely
It happens more often than most ever want to admit because GOD forbid we stop looking up to them, and their family portrait. Ego is that powerful. A lot of times young women look for love in all the wrong places. It’s normal to look up to those who are older than us, and want to impress them. I think you should go into every relationship stating what you want, and the other person is either working with you or against you. You will know by how they reciprocate the love you’re showing them. Don’t try to force somebody into a lifestyle they don’t want and vice versa. It is a waste of time for both of you. What’s for you will always be for you, and you’re going to end up missing your blessing caught up in a future you don’t really want. Let it go! Time is not the reason to jump into a fire of hopeless devotion. Your requirements are, and finding someone who can meet them. The bible never said to lower your standards.
Love Vs. Lust
I see an angel ; her face so angelic.
Glowing personality so awesome.
Valuable like an antique relic.
Heart so lovable like a cherry blossom.
Her attractiveness beautiful like a flower.
Allowing herself to be his eye-candy.
Giving him all of her power.
Pleasing him because he’s dandy.
Her mind filled up with naivety.
Her analytic ways causing her misery.
Never any trust ; just lust.
Blissfulness confusing her ; making her convince herself it’s love.
She gives in too fast, starts feeling too deep,
a mess she can’t get out of.
All her friends warned her ; she didn’t listen.
All she sees in the lenses is the blur.
She still sees him glisten.
This is her brand new start.
This man is not in this for her heart.
Only sex to fulfill his lust – for him it becomes a must.
She gives into temptation ; forgetting about God’s plan for salvation.
In fear he might cheat ; rather than trusting Jesus to help her defeat.
She becomes used to this. It’s him she begins to miss.
She gave him that precious gift.
Her sweetness becomes anger – he drifts.
He’s marked his name ; all the hurt it’s her he blames.
He’s vexed ; he’s onto the next.
She’s hurt ; he’s abused her kindness.
Now he’s putting her down for her blindness.
In her life he slowly fades away ; she becomes part of his yesterday.
The warning signs were always there.
Her anger is because she started to care.
All the love has now turned into war.
How does she let go and soar?
He used to make her feel like a precious rose ; now she’s a hideous dandelion.
She feels like ugly black crows ; instead of believing she belongs to zion.
Her heart is so warm ; she’s still trying.
Tears like a waterfall she begins crying.
She lacks self-assurance ; she’s given up on endurance.
She used to go with the flow – where oh where did her faith go?
She’s conditioned herself to expect pain.
Her history taught her only rain.
Instead of looking for the sun ; she looks for the storm.
How does she now conform?
I see the make-up upon her face ; her head that stares in space.
Neglecting her duty ; she covers up her natural beauty.
She longs to be loved ; she stands alone in the distance.
Retaliation becomes her persistence.
She wants to be left alone – she waits by the phone.
Strong opinions she holds ; pain so deep she never unfolds.
People judge without knowing where she’s been.
Her mistakes give them an excuse ; a reason to be mean.
A reason to think they’re better.
Her pain like cuts hidden underneath a sweater.
She tries to turn her life around ; instead of help – they put her down.
She runs back to what she knows – where she glows.
She doesn’t understand love. She doesn’t understand trust.
She doesn’t understand God above. She only understood lust.
Why do people judge instead of show true love?
Life is now like a game ; society has made this world a shame.
No woman on earth deserves to be treated like a mistress.
Each and every last one deserves to be somebody’s princess!
She spent her life dreaming of the romance scenes.
Each and every last one deserves to be somebody’s queen.
If God never gave up on us ; why are we so quick to give up on them?
Why do we judge without helping people heal?
Shouldn’t we stop and think – if we were them –
How would we feel?
Now to the women who are married ; stop hurting these women. They need your guidance not your judgment. Sometimes you’re mad at them because you remember how you were when you were young. Now your sex life in your marriage has stopped and you fear them taking your place. They don’t want your place. They want to believe that they’re worth love, and having the same love that you found.
Sometimes as women we have an unhealthy attitude towards sex. This attitude has to do with our experience with men, and the fact we didn’t always make good choices in them. Sometimes women treat the one they love for every man in the past who hurt them. Just like a young woman has to find healing to learn what love is and to stop confusing lust with love. A married woman needs to learn how sex can heal a marriage.
Sex is powerful both negatively and positively. When a marriage is broken and you start taking away sex and using it as punishment towards your husband you’re hurting him. You’re basically telling your man that you don’t love him. I’m telling you as women we don’t realize how manipulative our actions can feel and then we wonder why men start cheating. We blame younger women who want what we have because were no longer valuing it. There is nothing more appealing to a man than when he feels wanted. Make sure you always make your man feel wanted. When you don’t the king in him leaves, and the fool in him returns.