I’m always confused with my feelings. I want to do the right thing, but somehow I always end up doing the wrong thing. I believe in healing but I’m always torn between what’s in my heart, and what’s the right thing to do.
I can’t seem to win ever. Everything always seems like a lose / lose situation. I just want to be the daughter my father raised, but then I want to find my own happiness. I hate feeling like I don’t respect people it just makes me feel bad. I start to feel guilty. I sometimes give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I start to blame myself for things that aren’t my fault.
Like a man leaving and me falling in love.
I am always in love and people tell me that it’s not right. It’s like they know what’s right for me better than I do. I get so exhausted trying to live up to everybody sometimes. Sometimes I just want to be free and be happy and be me. I hate giving people false hope for things that I don’t think will last. So I walk away. I walk away every time. I break my own heart every time.
I just wish someone fought for me back to rescue me. I have to learn sometimes to speak more positively because positive words of affirmation go a long way.