Still Love You!!!
I hate losing at love when it’s the one thing I want. I hate when people look at me and envy me because I have the life they want. What they see as success. I see as failure. I fall in love hard, and I break my own heart even harder.
I miss my ex and I often shut the door from allowing a new lover in. Nobody is ever good enough for me because the memories are still what I stay committed to. Is there such thing as too loyal? I become loyal to somebody who is not even there.
It’s crazy how every day of my life without you has been a dream… a dream people look up to and envy. If only they knew the pain that lead me to all the places I’ve found myself in. I just move forwards from everything, and realize that time is not going to stop for me. I just constantly build my life up. I pray for the day you remain my better half and we are a power couple. I pray for the day were both in a better place where we can balance each-other out. I thank GOD for the experiences both good and bad. They made me who I am. I just wish people would learn to understand the only dream I ever really had was you. It’s hard to see anyone else as perfect when I spent so many years seeing you as perfect.
I go through my diaries…and I find our memories.
Dear Mr. Imperfect. We can work it.
You just play your video games. I’m lost in your chains.
Come give me a hug. You’re like my choice of drug.
I’ll be winning you at this. Give me a passionate loving kiss.
These games are so cruel. I’m playing Miss I’m a fool.
I swear I’m addicted. I just bought us a front row ticket.
I want to be a winner.
I just cooked you a special dinner.
I’m taking care of your meals.
Baby.. you get me nice jewelry. I wear sexy heels.
Tonight…I’m being your star.
Don’t you look for other chicks at the bar!
I lit all the candles. Tonight I’m going to glow.
You watch… I’m the star in your show.
Tonight the spotlights on me.
I’m confident and feeling free.
Tonight you’re my fan.. I already been calling you my man.
You hear that love song? I got this red lingerie on.
I’m dedicating this night to you. I’m stuck in this like crazy glue.
I got a chair on the floor. You might want to lock the door.
Don’t want your boys over… watching this private moment over their shoulder.
Let’s turn off our phones. Tonight let’s be alone.
I see you glancing. I’m slow motion dancing.
Are we wrong? Am I turning you on?
I’m such a tease… Tonight… I intend to please.
In the daylight I’m your Miss. Geek.
By night. I’m your Miss. Freak.
You’re my friend… You’re my foe.
I’m here like your angel being faithful.
I’m committing myself crimes.
You’ve broke my heart countless times.
Somehow I block the pain.
I see the blessings…not the rain.
Toughest task… Let’s meet at the masque.
Just love me I ask…
Let me take down your mask!
I’m sinking fighting for you.
I’m drowning fighting for you.
Never raised my voice.
Always saw you as my first choice.
Never slammed the door.
Always told you how you’re worth more.
Stayed strong… never let you see one tear.
Still…I’m your biggest fear.
We go from love to separating.
Sometimes were vexed…
and we both want to find the next.
Stuck in between love and lust.
Lost in the middle… we need to find trust.
I learned these lessons from heartache…
I try so hard to be a submissive woman to a dominate man but when a man wants me to compromise my self-worth and integrity and compromise my values. It becomes a problem.
I often want so much to fit in to the social normality of what a relationship is but the harder I try to fit in to something that’s not me… the more I end up breaking my own heart.
I often try to search for a happy ending. The truth is there is no such thing as a happy ending. Every road I think is almost happy turns into a learning curve.
Some lessons I learned in love.
#1. When looking for love avoid the physical attributes of another that suck us in. Look for hardcore moral values that will strengthen a union for a life time. I rather love that grows on me over love that comes easy.
#2. In the end it’s not about winning today. It’s about winning tomorrow. I want a love that holds me tight on hard days. I don’t want a love that is there to impress my friends.
#3. In ten years from now… which one of my friends is still going to be with me? In that case. I’ve come to the conclusion as long as harm isn’t being done to myself or others. Live and let live.
#4. People come and people go. Although the times have changed. I still believe that marriage is the ultimate commitment and a spouse is forever. At least it should be.