Category Archives for "motivation"

Meditation Prayer


A prayer I regularly say:

Dear Jesus,

There are so many people who are broken searching for answers, healing, and recovery.

Please give us all strength and courage to stand up against injustice, and to help people rewrite their stories.

Our life is only a gift that you have given to us. May we learn to use that gift wisely? So many need our mercy,

so many need our grace. So many need our love. So many need our compassion.

Show us how to lead the way to lead them and redirect them towards you.

Some days forgive us because were going to fail. Every day we fail, please forgive us LORD.

Wake us up shining your light, carrying your candle.

May someones burden be a little lighter because of the path you lead us to which allowed us to be their


In Jesus Name.




The Orange T-Shirt


Sunday, September 30th is Orange T-Shirt Day in Canada. Many people around Canada put on a “Orange T-Shirt” with the slogan: “Every Child matters.” This is to represent indigenous people who were taken away during the 60’s scoop movement. They were placed into foster homes and residential schools.

Many schools and organizations across Canada also hold assemblies to make awareness of these traumatic events in Canadian history, and to help make a better future for the generations to come.

We honour the child who suffered at the hands of the school system. We honour the siblings that grew up without knowing eachother and became estranged. We honour the parent (s) that was / were left behind who had to go on feeling empty not ever knowing if they would ever see their families again. The abuse that took place during this historic event was horrific.

As a daughter of a mother who is a indigenous woman – my mother was also part of the 60’s scoop movement. She grew up without a family. My siblings and I are her family. Were the only family she ever really knew. She was able to reunite with her siblings in her 40’s, but not all of them.

I never knew my grandma. I never knew where I came from. It wasn’t until I was twelve years old. I even knew my mom was a indigenous woman. I was able to start communicating with them then. I just remember people always asking me if I was adopted. My skin is pale, and my mother has always looked like a indigenous woman.

My grandma died young. I can’t imagine the pain my mom went through growing up without a mother, and never really even knowing her own mother. My mother’s story is real. My mother’s pain is real. It’s an important part of Canadian history and it’s time to share it.

Losing my mom over the summer has been a long road to healing for me from grief, but it is nothing compared to what her and her family went through growing up. One of my cousins is an artist and he created a: WITNESS BLANKET. If you search: Witness Blanket on google you will be able to find it. Each blanket showcases pieces and stories related to the “Residential Schools.”

Over the past few months I have been looking for my purpose with my mom no longer present, and I have taken it upon myself to continue educating myself on my families history and the history of all indigenous people. I’m trying to build myself a library on books about reserves, residential schools, and educate myself as much as possible on the 60’s scoops movements.

Growing up with a mother who suffered many years in silence has made me into the humble woman I’ve become. I want to see everyone wearing Orange Shirts on Sunday.



Happy Teacher’s Appreciation Week

In the USA / Canada. This week we celebrate Teacher’s Appreciation Week. What did you do to thank a teacher this week? They’re so patient, dedicated, devoted, and hard working.

I don’t know what I would of done without my teachers growing up. I had my first teacher when I was a toddler. My parents took me to church for Sunday School. I don’t remember her name. I just remember I loved being in her class. My parents also used to send me to this program called AWANA. I had a whole bunch of teachers there who helped me memorize the bible and taught me to put GOD first in my life.

I grew up and volunteered in things like Vacation Bible School. It is one of the most rewarding experiences because you’re helping create the leaders of tomorrow. I’m far from a teacher, but it’s always rewarding to know that the children that were in your class still refer to you as their teacher even if it was only for one week. Those experiences have made me appreciate teachers that much more.

Now let’s talk about the teachers that spend long days at work. The ones who taught us to write and to read. The ones who shaped our beginnings. They get up early just to go to work with a class of students, only to go home and still have to do marking. When do they ever get a break?

I remember pretty much all my teachers from kindergarten straight through to grade 12. Each one left a different mark. Some were overly nice and others were overly strict. In the end they all wanted to see me succeed.

I remember how many of them often praised my writing over the years. Those were in the years I didn’t even think I was a good writer. If not for all their commentary – I don’t think I would love writing as much as I do today.

Whatever you’re doing this week. If you come across a teacher. Make sure to thank them. They’re so devoted to the future generations. They help create the success of tomorrow. They need to be praised every now and then to remind them that we appreciate them because they make so many sacrifices.

I Am A Dreamer


I was a little girl in the fifth grade growing up trying to find myself. My hair was brunette, and always cut into some hideous mush-room cut. I looked like a little boy. It was so uneven. It was humiliating. I embraced it. My mom wasn’t exactly a hair-stylist, but she gave me home-made hair-cuts. It was all we could afford. I appreciated it.

I never liked dolls. I hated barbies. I liked playing sports in my backyard. I liked playing with toy cars and making them race each-other. I liked playing with marbles. I was a tom-boy. I was so ridiculously weird. This has made my life a little complicated.

You wouldn’t know all that looking at me today. I learned how to become a classy looking lady who embraces make-up, high-heels, and beautiful dresses. I come across women who hate me and judge me for my outside without knowing my inside. I come across men who feel rejected by me and tear me to pieces because I can be so choosy.

It often makes me wonder why people take rejection so harshly when rejection is all I’ve ever known. It’s like I’m a mean person because I don’t want to live in places of hurt I’ve already been. It’s like I’m a mean person because I have empathy and in the end I know I still have to stay loyal to my dreams. It’s like I can never win.

It often brings me right back to that little girl. The little girl who dreamed of the day I’d have friends. The little girl who had none. I remember waking up every day knowing that I was going to school to another day of being bullied. I rarely ever stood up to my bullies. I always took it. I always showed compassion. I always showed forgiveness.

I remember the days I’d go home crying, burying my tears into my pillow cases. I’d open up journals and I’d start writing. I’d wrip up the pages and throw them out. I’d hide out in my books and I’d read. I felt like the characters in the books became my friends. I fell in love with the fantasy world that so many authors created for little girls being bullied like me. There are so many authors who don’t even realize how much of a gift they are for those of us who had to endure bullying.

I read and I read and through my reading I learned about people. I had a dream. I had a vision. I dreamed that one day I’d find my place in the world. I never had nice clothes. I always wore hand-me-downs from my older sister or clothes my mother purchased at a thrift shop. She never had the best taste in fashion. She still instilled into me the attitude of gratitude and what it means to be grateful for what you have. I never got to have the nicest gadgets all the other students in my class always had. There were days I was envious. There were days I was jealous.

I’d always run home: “Mommy, can I have this?”

and she’d always reply: “No, we can’t afford it.”

I was pretty much a loner. The ugly kid in the class. I look back remembering how I was made to feel, and every day of my life that little girl has never left me.

I still remember us setting goals and on those goal sheets the assistant teacher made us write. I remember the assistant teacher got to me and I wrote down: “I want to be an author.” She looked at me and how lonely I felt in the world. She took her red pen and she wrote: “I hope one day I see your name on a book.”

I’ve carried this dream with me throughout my life even when most of the time I think I fail at it. It’s the only thing that ever stays with me. Friends come and friends go. Boyfriends pretend to love me, and boyfriends leave me. I cry sometimes thinking: The world is so unfair.

It’s in those tears I learned to pour my heart out. I never saw myself as a writer. I saw myself as someone with a hobby. It was my way of not dealing with the world. As a little girl. I learned the world could be quite cruel.

I grew up. I got a makeover. I made friends. The friends I made were not genuine. When I got hurt in my teenage years. I wasn’t hurt for being bullied. I was hurt because I was being used. I was a vulnerable spirit living in a world I wasn’t prepared for thinking that once I was noticed the world would be kind to me. The world actually made me feel more empty.

Disappointment after disappointment. Failure after failure. Betrayal after betrayal. Break up after break up. It went on into my young adulthood. I started feeling sorry for myself wondering what I was doing so wrong? I started attracting pain and pain started attracting me. It was my normal.

I found rock bottom. If you’ve been there you know the desperate state you’re in. I just knew in my heart there was a better way of life. I looked for it and never found it. I found a bunch of friends. I wasn’t fulfilled. It’s like I always felt like a part of me was missing. I always felt like I was compromising who I was. I started hearing everybody around me telling me how I was never good enough to be them. It was like I was trapped in a box of other peoples dreams instead of my own. I started to believe the lies. I started to think I need to change myself so they will like me. I realized the harder you try at anything. The more people who will come to break you down. I kept getting broken down. The destructive patterns just wouldn’t stop.

I thought I was able to do it by myself and I had to learn that throughout life we all need teachers. We all need people who will mentor us and show us the ropes. I often thought about the American Dream and running away to Hollywood. I think we all have those dreams sometimes. Hollywood is just the screen. Everything that we become starts with who we already are. It just becomes magnified once we start living in our purpose.

I had to accept that I wasn’t perfect, and that I had fallen down. I fell down into the mentality of playing the victim card. Playing that card always attracts the wrong people. The people who prey on our vulnerabilities. I had to remind myself that the past is not the future. I had to continue on in the girl I already was and embrace her. There are so many things in life that are put there to destroy us, to put fear in us, and we need to know who we are so that who we are is always enough.

Now I know what it means to be a dreamer. It means to live up to people who already been there and allow them to teach you how to grow. It was the day I understood that – I had a different attitude towards everything. The hard part about this different attitude is you look back and you see the people who treat you like you’re a competition, and it’s not a competition. There is a path and a lane for everyone. Sometimes you look back with empathy and other times you move forwards with dignity. I learned you can’t please everyone. People will hate you if you put yourself first. People will hate you if you put yourself last.

That’s never the end goal. The end goal is to fight so hard for your dreams that you’re in a place to give back. You can’t give what you don’t have. I think so many times we try so hard for the image. We forget to create the lifestyle.

Escape To Your Dreams


 ”Reflections,” by Christina Aguilera is on top volume blaring through my headphones. I know I’m always listening to old classics every time I sit down to write. It helps me connect with my inner-self, my emotions, and the deepest part of my soul. It’s a song about change. It’s a song about wanting to see a transformation from the us we hideto the us we long to share with the world.

I guess that’s the time of year were at right now as we all walk around saying: “Happy New Year.” It feels like the only appropriate way to greet somebody during this week. We see it like some kind of accomplishment that the years have switched over and were still here.

Many of us have finished several holiday parties. Many of us have finished having several family gatherings. We all got to see people we probably ignore for the rest of the year for whatever reason. We really shouldn’t do that. When you look at peoples regrets in their latter years ; one of their biggest regrets is not spending enough time with their loved ones. I understand life gets in the way. I understand different personality types aren’t always easy. I understand life gets busy. I still believe even the hardest person to love needs love. People do better when they feel loved.

A wise friend of mine once told me: “Irene, all that matters at the end of the day is the people in your life you care about know you cared about them.” It’s true. I think it’s so important to value the people you cherish. I actually saw my sister over the holidays, and she surprised me with a wonderful gift. That gift meant everything to me. I’m very gracious for it.

Many of us have opened gifts over the holidays. Many of us have prayed over Christmas dinners. The celebration time is over. The self-reflection time has begun.

Everybody has been making new year’s resolutions.

“I want to be more successful.”

“I need a better car.”

“I want to lose those 20 lbs.”

“I want to go to the gym more.”

We tell ourselves exactly how were going to achieve our new goal. We toss our old goals out the window. We tell ourselves to leave the past where it belongs. We try to create the impossible out of the future. We start the year out chasing the future only to finish it off dwelling back in the past.

We forget to just enjoy the moment. We forget to meditate in the present and find clarity in the bigger picture.

What’s the bigger picture?

The bigger picture is the dream we constantly tell ourselves we will make happen one day. We put that dream off and push it twenty years into the future. Time doesn’t stop for us and we for some reason stop for time.

We ignore the small steps we need to take to reach it. We walk towards the big steps that lead us right into somebody else’s dream. We complain. We distract ourselves so much inside our comfort zone. We forget to climb out of it and start somewhere.

Why do we do that?

We do it because we allow fear in, doubt in, and insecurity in. We believe in what’s already been done. We lose confidence in ourselves.

challenge you to three things in this new year.

#1. Listen to your inner-voice

Your inner-voice is telling you exactly what you want to do. The people around you are telling you you can’t do it. You’ve probably had these new year’s resolutions for three years now and you keep putting them off because you’re chasing the dreams of the people around you instead of the dreams of your inner-voice.

#2. Don’t make a new’s years resolution

New year’s resolutions were made to be broken. Go back to your dream that has been following you around for three years now. You think about it so much because you want to do it. You want to do it so bad. It will always be there until you do it.

Go back and finish what you started before you start something new. To know you accomplished something that you’ve been dwelling on doing for three years will make you feel more fulfilled than a new years resolution you know you’re going to fail at.

#3. Pick a healthy habit and do it every day.

Success starts from inside and then it shines through on the outside. The way we treat our bodies matters. The way we treat our minds matters. It all creates the energies / auras we carry around that everybody else around us receives.

It doesn’t have to be something big. It could be something so simple. If you like taking walks – take a walk. If you like listening to music – listen to music. Choose every day to do it for fifteen minutes to influence yourself in a positive light.

The goal:

Free your soul. Free your mind. Allow yourself to be at ease with you. Once you are you can truly go into the new year focused, and putting all of your energy into what you really want. I want to see us all start this year motivated and leave it fulfilled. Stop escaping in distractions. Start escaping into your dreams. Were all in a transformation process and the attitude we have during it is going to produce the results at the end of it.

Meditate and Reach For The Stars


Is this you?

You had a long day full of worries. You had a long day full of chaos. It’s now night time. You feel resentful and disappointed the way your life has turned out. You just broke up with your lover? You just got laid off from your job? You have no idea how to turn it around. The universe is showing the negative side of life and you feel cursed. You’re overwhelmed with thoughts. Fears consume you. Anxiety runs you.

You say to yourself: “What’s going to happen tomorrow?” or “Can I just get through the week?” You feel that you’re a failure. This is the energy you start bringing to the world and people start to avoid you.

You isolate yourself into solitude, and do all the things to forget the imperfections going on in your life. Dysfunction becomes your normal. You try to make yourself happy in all the ways you can. You then take a walk as the moon is shining, and the stars light up the mid-night sky with beautiful colours. You remember movies like: “The Lion King!!!” You ask yourself: “Do I have what it takes to conquer the battle of the life I’m living in?”  You tell yourself all the reasons you’re not good enough. You feel worthless like Simba did due to his uncle Scar. You start to believe it and it becomes your direction in life.

However, we all know how THE LION KING ended so in the end SIMBA became KING. What if there was a way you could change the attittude of negativity in your life? Your behaviour that attracts the negativity to your life? What if there was another approach? Would you do it? Stop telling yourself that dreams don’t come true, and happy endings only happen in the movies. Find the reason in yourself that’s stopping you from reaching for the stars. I know each and every last one of you has a vision of this person you desire to be or you see the successful person you think you can’t be.

It starts with meditation. It starts with visualizing. It starts with goal settling. Find a way to meditate and relax yourself so that you can live in today, and consistently work your way up each stair-case. Life is like a staircase. You don’t get to the top over night, but when you climb each one carefully and fall in love with the journey. You find your way to success when you don’t see it coming. Keep on meditating. Keep on going. Chase your dreams.

Adapting for Success

Adapting for Success


In life we meet many people. In life we have relationships with many people. Some joyful. Some hateful. Some of these relationships we have may include romance. Some of these relationships we have may include those we come into contact with on a career path. We need to be vigilant. We need to protect ourselves. We need to be aware. We need to set boundaries. These boundaries are meant for our peace and our integrity. The ultimate goal is fulfilment. In the process of meeting the goal we must never let anybody put us in a box because fear crept in. We can’t ever let fear stop us from chasing the vision. Oh the confusion of life. How complex.

We are all on a growth process. Life is a beautiful journey. Part of this journey includes chapters and those chapters include learning, and knowing our strengths and our weaknesses. The other part of the journey includes accepting that the world isn’t perfect. It’s filled with people who have flaws. We can either focus on their flaws or find out how we can balance their flaws with our strengths. We need to prepare ourselves for what we may find when we find ourselves out in the world searching for our purpose and living in it.

Narcissists have become one of the most common topics in the dating world and the success world today. People usually refer to someone as a narcissist whenever a relationship doesn’t go the way they wanted it to go. People often refer to people who are so self loving they become successful as narcissists because they weren’t selfless enough for the person calling them a narcissist. To be successful you kind of have to have a mixture of selfless and selfish. I suppose it’s the easiest way for someone who feels like they were in a failed relationship to classify the person they feel failed them. A lot of successful people tend to have traits of narcissism. Does that make them a narcissist? I don’t think so.

I’ve often wondered if it has become more and more common due to social media being so popular. Has social media made it easier to become self-absorbed and desire success more? Does social media cause people to become overly confident? What is the difference between an empath, a narcissist, a sociopath, and a psychopath? Terms to justify misunderstood personalities. It’s so hard to know because on the outside each personality comes across charming but each personality never seems to have a happy ending. What is normal?

Most people claim to be normal or weird or just nice. An empath often has a reputation of ex lovers they can’t keep. Why is it empaths have a hard time maintaining a relationship? The answer is simple. They often fall victims to Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths. They do not have enough confidence to choose healthy love. They tend to choose love they see as a project. Once the project is fixed or the partner of the empath has no need for the empath. They tend to move on to something better. This destructive pattern impacts a lot of empaths lives. They often have trouble moving forwards. They often start fearing love. They often start fearing happiness. For the empath life feels like a gift and a curse. They can sense things and see the good in everyone. They forget to protect themselves from the bad. They want to be the saviour. Empaths set themselves up to be taken advantage of and although they know it’s coming. They get so caught up in how much they did that they forget the other person doesn’t feel that perfect. They often cry for months and they often refuse to evaluate how to grow from the pain and choose a more compatible partner. In a way empaths are attracted to pain.

This is a great gift to a narcissist when they need supply. They can read right through an empath and an empath can fix them to look like a hero. Narcissists are people who probably went through a traumatic experience where they had to lie to get out of trouble or something at one point in their lives. They learned to use that experience to fight their way through it and apply the facade to life. They tend to sell a fairytale and a false sense of self. They’re the person you meet for the first time and feel like you’ve known all your life. They know exactly what you want. They know how to make promises they can’t keep. Once you realize it you’re already addicted to the blissfulness of it. Suddenly, they got you in love, and that’s when the mask falls off and they either find a way to use you for supply or they discard you.

Often you’ll fight for them because you’ve never had or met anybody else like them. They were different. They made you feel special. You can’t accept that you miss the memories not the person. They love it because they know they can come back to you anytime they want. You don’t want to let go. You don’t want to move on. That’s the cycle with a narcissist. A lot of narcissists turn out successful but the only way a love relationship will ever work with them is in a use / use situation. You can’t fix somebody because that person won’t change. They will only change as long as it suits them. The second it doesn’t – back to square one. A narcissist doesn’t want love. A narcissist only ever wants the idea of love.

 On a side note: Don’t run around calling somebody a narcissist just because a relationship ended badly. Often times your love languages are just different as well.

Sociopaths are a similar to narcissists as in they’re so charming and magnetic when you first meet them. They could light up light up a room. They could look into your eyes and steal your heart. Key word: Confident. People love confidence. They seem like a prize. You could call them the definition or irresistible. They’re smart. They’re intelligent. They’re mind readers. They can sell you the exact world you want, need, and crave. They’re idolized and worshipped. They seem to have no haters. Everybody wants the perfection they appear to live. It seems so amazing that you miss the trap they’ve set up for you to fall into. On the outside they carry the most normal looking lives.

You will never notice anything until you mention their flaws. If you do happen to mention their flaws. They will show you that they don’t have any flaws and how you’re the one with all the flaws. They make you feel like you’re not good enough so you gotta try harder to add up to their ideal perfection. They have no guilt about it either which makes you feel like they really are as perfect as they claim to be and you’re a wreck beside them who needs them. You try harder because you want to be perfect.

You will literally try so hard to improve these errors in yourself just to please them because you feel special you’re even there in their life. The second they know they have power over you and you won’t do anything about it. That’s the exact same second they use you like they use all the others to keep their perfect image. They don’t think about the past because it’s behind them. They don’t think about the future because it’s too far ahead. They only think about how they feel in the present. They’re impulsive. They’re manipulative. They’re controlling. They will choose their victims wisely. Before you know it you end up defending them and that’s the way they want it. If anything goes bad they will make you the bad one to make themselves the good one because life is a game to them. Moral of sociopath in order to avoid them. Don’t fall for anything that seems too good to be true.

A psychopath is similar to a sociopath but where a sociopath does it in secret a psychopath will do it all in the open. They have very shallow emotions. They will have rage and anger that comes from out of nowhere. So how is it that a psychopath is so obvious but some people fall for them and don’t see it in the beginning? It’s easy to explain a psychopath probably probably bribes people and gives them what they want in the beginning which may seem like protection but eventually that protection turns into violence once a psychopath feels you’re on their team. I think if someone is emotionally abusive to you. You should always leave and a lot of people stay in emotional abuse and allow it to escalate. You should always leave before it escalates. The signs and the red flags are always there.

Now that we’ve explained complicated personalities. Why do so many people fall for it? What’s normal?

People fall for it because they don’t have a positive image of self. They seek out validation instead of growth and self reflection. They put themselves in a box instead of accept that they don’t belong in that box.

Normal is being true to your authentic self. Normal is having a positive self image because the way you feel about yourself is usually the way you end up treating others. The way you end up treating others usually becomes your aura for how others learn to define you. People can’t define you unless you allow them to define you. Speak your truths. Live your goals. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t do something because if it’s your dream. You can do it if it’s a dream that can make humanity better. Go for it. The people who say it can’t be done want you to doubt yourself. They want you to doubt yourself because seeing you fail makes them feel better about the fact they’d never have that confidence. Embrace that confidence.

As you go about life you’re like a magnet. You attract back to yourself the way you feel about yourself. You attract the lifestyle into your life that you focus the most on. It’s important to feel worthy in a humble way. It’s important to feel worthy in a way that gives you strength of character. Those two things are your push factor every step of the way to your goals.

Normal is knowing that you need space to grow so others need the same space to grow. Normal is knowing we need space for healing so others need space for healing. Sometimes we all fall backwards because life ain’t always easy, but without failures we wouldn’t know to find a new approach. Normal is choosing to have the right attitude even when everyone else has the wrong attitude. Somebodys gotta be the bigger person. Are you a leader or a follower? Be a leader because all it takes to be a leader is to go down the road most wouldn’t and eventually someone’s inspired because you did it.

We have to allow love and we have to allow others to be human. We have to have self discipline and we have to be patient in the fact that others grow at their own pace and if we have knowledge we need to create something with it. Normal is having acceptance for diversity without losing integrity. We have to have courage to not put ourselves in situations that will destroy us. We have to have courage to discover ourselves and the world around us. We have to have ethics because we can’t lose our conscience in the process. In the end normal is looking over your life when it’s all said done and saying I’m happy with the person I was. The rest is a learning process.