Addicted to him: Pleasure Island

 I don’t know if any of you men or women ever felt so trapped in love as if the man or the woman was your choice of drug. It didn’t matter how many times you tried to leave because of the toxic basis of the relationship – you couldn’t. This is about that exactly. It’s a poem that speaks on how easily we confuse lust and sex with love. We convince ourselves certain feelings like those butterflies are love.

 

 This is about being addicted to someone who cheats on you. Desiring somebody who takes advantage of your good heart, and knows that no matter what they do you’re the main one to them. Why do they have that much power over you? They know that you will always come back because you allow them to treat you like that.  They will always find a way to hold on to you.

 

 It’s the kind of love that makes you lose yourself, and hurt. It’s the kind of love that makes you hate yourself. It’s the kind of love that makes you allow others to hate you because well you’re in it you feel afraid of people. You allow the bad stuff about yourself to become what you believe ; even if it’s not true. You become protective of your heart, and people target you.

 

 You need to be stronger than that, and you need to let go…..

 

 It takes some people years to get out of these bad cycles where they’ve been made to look like the bad one. You don’t have to live like that anymore. You don’t need to keep seeing everyone as the same because there are bullies in this world who don’t understand what you’re going through, and those are the voices you hear.  Shame on those people

 

  There are good people out there who won’t let that define you, and will show you your worth again. They will stand by you, and teach you how to love yourself again. You don’t need to be peoples target anymore. From this day forward no matter what you’re going through – start looking up! Fight those demons off of you. Show them they can’t control you. The people who couldn’t see who you are, well it’s their loss. As long as you know you. That’s all that really matters. People deserve to see you for who you really are ; not the way you’ve let others define you for so long. You deserve that for yourself too.

 

 

Well this poem speaks to that. Just know if you’ve been in this situation you’re not alone. I hope this poem speaks to you.  It’s one of my deepest poems I ever wrote.

 

Pleasure Island

By, Irene

I’m so blinded by your fantasy.

I’m stranded on your Island.

I can’t break myself free.

Here I feel so much pleasure.

I think I’m in paradise.

A slave that thinks you’re a treasure.

Who am I? How did I get here?

I’m digging deep into the ground.

I’m like a missing person.

Am I in a human lost-and-found?

Seems I’ve lost myself in you.

Your love I try so hard to resist.

But for some reason I’m feigning it.

My friends don’t know I still exist.

I’m grabbing at your hand.

Slowly I feel myself sinking.

I’m burying myself deeper

You stop me from thinking.

You’re letting me fall.

I’m losing my breath – still fighting.

I’m fighting for you.

I see a flash of lightening.

You want it to strike me.

I can hear your friends cheering, I can hear you mocking.

You got me under your spell.

This shouldn’t be shocking.

I got faith in you, well you leave me in this storm.

I know you’ve done this before.

It’s like a music video that keeps playing on repeat.

Then I still keep coming back for more.

I’m so foolish, it’s humiliating.

I can feel the strangers evil stares.

Then you pull me up as if you saved me.

You leave me there lying.

I’m like a helpless bird without wings.

I feel so crippled tied up in chains.

There you go again promising me things.

You got me on this guilt trip.

If I hold unto you just a little longer.

You’ll give me what I want.

If I act a just a little stronger.

I’m stuck in this rain.

Believing you love me.

All I feel is severe pain.

Then you’re off on your Hawaiin Cruise.

You’re living a double life.

You have no fear of what you will lose.

You trapped me on your Pleasure Island.

I want you so bad, but I’m not okay.

So I’ve been building this boat,

I want to finally sail away.

Find out what’s out there for me.

I’m in jail here.

I will break free from your chains.

I won’t stay in fear.

I will hold unto faith.

Life can seem so unfair.

I will hold unto God.

God answers prayer.

The world doesn’t truly know me.

I’m like a locked up princess.

At war with people trying to steal away my rights.

I won’t be your mistress.

Someday my prince will come.

The world can be so cruel when you’re loyal, loving, and kind.

I just keep dreaming and dreaming.

To distract myself and ease my mind.

The bad ones always seem to get it all,

Being manipulative, and putting on an act.

They can have you so fooled, making the great ones fall.

But I’ll get back up and I’ll win.

You have me so wrong.

I shouldn’t be your prisioner.

I’m so courageous. I’m strong.

I can survive cruelty and broken hearts.

I can do it without seeking revenge or spite.

I have hope and I see a brighter tomorrow.

I take out my candle to light.

I have so many tears now.

They keep falling from my eyes.

Can’t you see it? I care for you.

You’re so scared from my cries.

You try to flip it on me acting all tough.

As If I’m the shallow person.

Baby, don’t you know I’ve had it rough?

You like to see me suffer.

You think that I would hurt you.

Baby, don’t you know that I wouldn’t?

I’m not like you.

My heart is too soft.

You love when I’m hurting.

You love having power.

You’re always out flirting.

It gives you justification.

It allows you to believe I’m just crazy.

Your ego takes over.

Then you forget about me.

You’re too proud to care.

I’m stuck in this misery.

I cry for help and noone hears.

Slowly my love is fading.

I’m starting to give up.

I’m so done with my persuading.

I just want to smile again.

I miss when I used to smile.

I miss when I knew who I was.

You make me suicidal.

I feel empty here.

I’m packing my stuff and I’m ready to leave.

Then there you are again.

I’m so tired of feeling deceived.

I won’t be blinded by you.

Then you pull me back and kiss me by surprise.

I’m trapped again.

You start talking about the future as you look into my eyes.

I can’t escape.

Then I give into your temptation.

Tune out the pain in my heart.

I can’t run away from your sensation.

I feel so trapped on your Pleasure Island.

You blind me.

Let me go.

Don’t touch me.

I’m shouting now!

I don’t want to hurt you like you did me.

I need to avoid you.

I need to be free.

Now the tables are turned.

I’m walking away…..

I’m tuning you out.

I hear you begging me to stay.

I won’t let another man steal my identity.

You found out you had a good woman too late.

Maybe you should of got to know her,

Instead of judged her by her heartache.

It’s your turn to cry.

I still wish you happiness.

Now it’s my turn to say Goodbye.

Irene Mielke
 

Irene enjoys writing and inspiring everybody that she meets. She has wisdom for days when it comes to life. She loves to read and support others in becoming the best version of themselves. She also loves to go the gym and her favourite sport is soccer.

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